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timWhat is this, and why am I posting it?
I don't mind sharing details about my body and sexuality in public (and would be happy to elaborate on why I don't mind), but if you don't think you would be comfortable knowing those sorts of details about me, you may not want to follow the link (or go behind the cut, depending how you're reading this). The same disclaimer may apply to the previous post in this series.
Have you asked others to change their pronoun use when referring to you? (Ex. she, he, ze) What were their reactions? How did you feel when people referred to you by your preferred pronoun? How did you feel when they mistakenly or purposefully used your non-preferred pronoun?
I have asked others to refer to me using "he/him" at a time when most were referring to me as "she/her". I've never had a person who knew me refuse to use these pronouns. Everyone was willing to at least try, though in the first two years after I transitioned, most people made errors and a few made them a lot.
I have to admit that even after over three years of presenting as male, I still get a little charge from someone else referring to me as "he" or "him" when I stop to think about it. When people were frequently mispronouning me, it was stressful every time someone got it wrong to have to ask myself, *again*, "should I correct them or should I let it go this time?" It sucked away energy. There are social situations I can't even go back to because I couldn't bring myself to correct people's misapprehension that I was a woman; I can't figure out how to go back there and explain why I didn't tell them then.
Have you altered your body in any way through the use of hormones, surgery, or other methods? How did you choose which of these methods to use? Why did you decide not to choose others? (There will be more questions on the details of your hormonal and/or surgical treatments in the section on Health - this question is interested in the thought process behind your choices.)
I've been injecting testosterone regularly for almost three years, and had top surgery almost a year ago.
Taking T was almost a no-brainer: I wanted my voice to change, wanted to gain more muscle mass, and was hoping that changing my mix of hormones would make me more emotionally stable (it did). The only reason why I had to think about it at all was that I wasn't sure whether I ever wanted to become pregnant and give birth to a child. I decided that since I couldn't envision being in a life situation where becoming a parent seemed appropriate anytime soon, that if I waited until I'd given birth before going on T, I might wait forever. I decided to let go mentally of the belief that I would become pregnant someday, and go on T. (However, I still haven't totally let go, because I don't have plans to have my uterus or ovaries removed.)
Top surgery was also almost a no-brainer; I had F-cup breasts, and was never happy about the way they looked or how they affected my physical activities. Even before identifying as gender-variant in any way, I wanted to have breast reduction surgery, but was always afraid that it would damage the sensation in my nipples. After becoming confident that I could find a surgeon who would have a high probability of helping me keep sensation, I decided to go ahead with the surgery.
I haven't had bottom surgery, because I'm on the fence as to whether the benefits of a metoidoplasty would be worth the cost and physical risk, and because I don't believe that phalloplasties yield sexually satisfactory results. In addition, my understanding is that all genital surgery entails some risk of losing orgasmic capacity, and that's not a risk I'm willing to incur lightly.
Have you been discriminated against or mistreated before or after your transition? What were these experiences like? What do you think motivated those who mistreated you?
Very little. I was mistreated more when I was perceived as a masculine woman than I am now as either a man or when I'm perceived as a trans man.
As one example, I was an active Wikipedia editor before I transitioned, and was nominated to become a site administrator. I was getting almost entirely favorable votes until someone linked to a discussion page where I had respectfully requested that someone use gender-neutral pronouns to refer to me in a conversation. This person decided that that one request meant that I would use my platform as an editor to turn every discussion into a conversation about my gender. As soon as few people began to make an issue of my genderqueerness, I started getting far more negative votes than positive and my adminship nomination failed to receive the required number of votes. This experience made me angry; I was being judged by a standard that would never have been applied to a cisgender person (a woman perceived as cisgender who requested that someone use "she" and "her" to refer to her on a discussion page wouldn't have been accused of trying to subvert the discussion), and no one was interested in my qualifications for the role as soon as someone called attention to my genderqueer identification. I'm not sure what motivated the people who did this besides the desire to see how I would react (sometimes we call this "trolling").
Do you identify with feminism or feminist theory? Please explain why or why not.
Yes, because feminism is about recognizing that personal autonomy must take precedence over received gender roles, and this recognition is mandatory for any understanding of trans identities. I've spent too much time being treated as a woman, and too much time listening to the stories that women tell other women about how they're treated, to be indifferent about the limitations that traditional gender systems place on women's lives, and thus to not be a feminist.
Have you come into contact with books or people that discuss queer theory? What does queer theory mean to you?
Yes, but I'm not entirely sure what it means. If I had to guess, I would say that it means the intellectual project of redefining queer people as subject rather than object, as a class of people each of whose members is just as typical an example of the broader class "human" as straight people are.
I don't mind sharing details about my body and sexuality in public (and would be happy to elaborate on why I don't mind), but if you don't think you would be comfortable knowing those sorts of details about me, you may not want to follow the link (or go behind the cut, depending how you're reading this). The same disclaimer may apply to the previous post in this series.
Have you asked others to change their pronoun use when referring to you? (Ex. she, he, ze) What were their reactions? How did you feel when people referred to you by your preferred pronoun? How did you feel when they mistakenly or purposefully used your non-preferred pronoun?
I have asked others to refer to me using "he/him" at a time when most were referring to me as "she/her". I've never had a person who knew me refuse to use these pronouns. Everyone was willing to at least try, though in the first two years after I transitioned, most people made errors and a few made them a lot.
I have to admit that even after over three years of presenting as male, I still get a little charge from someone else referring to me as "he" or "him" when I stop to think about it. When people were frequently mispronouning me, it was stressful every time someone got it wrong to have to ask myself, *again*, "should I correct them or should I let it go this time?" It sucked away energy. There are social situations I can't even go back to because I couldn't bring myself to correct people's misapprehension that I was a woman; I can't figure out how to go back there and explain why I didn't tell them then.
Have you altered your body in any way through the use of hormones, surgery, or other methods? How did you choose which of these methods to use? Why did you decide not to choose others? (There will be more questions on the details of your hormonal and/or surgical treatments in the section on Health - this question is interested in the thought process behind your choices.)
I've been injecting testosterone regularly for almost three years, and had top surgery almost a year ago.
Taking T was almost a no-brainer: I wanted my voice to change, wanted to gain more muscle mass, and was hoping that changing my mix of hormones would make me more emotionally stable (it did). The only reason why I had to think about it at all was that I wasn't sure whether I ever wanted to become pregnant and give birth to a child. I decided that since I couldn't envision being in a life situation where becoming a parent seemed appropriate anytime soon, that if I waited until I'd given birth before going on T, I might wait forever. I decided to let go mentally of the belief that I would become pregnant someday, and go on T. (However, I still haven't totally let go, because I don't have plans to have my uterus or ovaries removed.)
Top surgery was also almost a no-brainer; I had F-cup breasts, and was never happy about the way they looked or how they affected my physical activities. Even before identifying as gender-variant in any way, I wanted to have breast reduction surgery, but was always afraid that it would damage the sensation in my nipples. After becoming confident that I could find a surgeon who would have a high probability of helping me keep sensation, I decided to go ahead with the surgery.
I haven't had bottom surgery, because I'm on the fence as to whether the benefits of a metoidoplasty would be worth the cost and physical risk, and because I don't believe that phalloplasties yield sexually satisfactory results. In addition, my understanding is that all genital surgery entails some risk of losing orgasmic capacity, and that's not a risk I'm willing to incur lightly.
Have you been discriminated against or mistreated before or after your transition? What were these experiences like? What do you think motivated those who mistreated you?
Very little. I was mistreated more when I was perceived as a masculine woman than I am now as either a man or when I'm perceived as a trans man.
As one example, I was an active Wikipedia editor before I transitioned, and was nominated to become a site administrator. I was getting almost entirely favorable votes until someone linked to a discussion page where I had respectfully requested that someone use gender-neutral pronouns to refer to me in a conversation. This person decided that that one request meant that I would use my platform as an editor to turn every discussion into a conversation about my gender. As soon as few people began to make an issue of my genderqueerness, I started getting far more negative votes than positive and my adminship nomination failed to receive the required number of votes. This experience made me angry; I was being judged by a standard that would never have been applied to a cisgender person (a woman perceived as cisgender who requested that someone use "she" and "her" to refer to her on a discussion page wouldn't have been accused of trying to subvert the discussion), and no one was interested in my qualifications for the role as soon as someone called attention to my genderqueer identification. I'm not sure what motivated the people who did this besides the desire to see how I would react (sometimes we call this "trolling").
Do you identify with feminism or feminist theory? Please explain why or why not.
Yes, because feminism is about recognizing that personal autonomy must take precedence over received gender roles, and this recognition is mandatory for any understanding of trans identities. I've spent too much time being treated as a woman, and too much time listening to the stories that women tell other women about how they're treated, to be indifferent about the limitations that traditional gender systems place on women's lives, and thus to not be a feminist.
Have you come into contact with books or people that discuss queer theory? What does queer theory mean to you?
Yes, but I'm not entirely sure what it means. If I had to guess, I would say that it means the intellectual project of redefining queer people as subject rather than object, as a class of people each of whose members is just as typical an example of the broader class "human" as straight people are.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-20 06:41 am (UTC)On queer theory - best definition I've heard is that it's the study of social issues through a queer lens.
Interesting reading these! We haven't talked about a lot of your history around transitioning.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-20 06:23 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-20 06:32 pm (UTC)So much hear that, and that's why I'm trying what I'm doing wrt de/retransitioning,