"Enjoy this time," some people used to say When you were so much smaller and so young. They told us how much we would miss those days When you were grown and all that time was gone. Although on cuteness I must quite agree That you bewitched the world with just a smile, I love the talks that you now have with me And won't forget the bad parts for a while. -K Royka, 12/13/2025
I don't email much with my mother, but not too long after I had cataract surgery, I heard she was nervous about having hers, so I wrote it up for her. Maybe this will be useful for someone else too.
It makes sense to be worried about any surgery, but this one is well-understood, superficial in the body, and the surgeons are well-practiced.
A kaval is an end-blown flute common in the Balkans. In Bulgaria, they're typically made of cherry wood and come apart into three pieces. In Macedonia, they're made of a lighter wood (ash?) and are narrower and all in one piece. I have one of each and can kind of get a sound out of them, which is an accomplishment.
David Bilides writes:
In 2019, Steve Finney produced a CD of Nikolay Doktorov, one of the many excellent kaval teachers we've been fortunate to have at the EEFC [Eastern European Folklife Center] camps, playing 17 solo pieces on Bulgarian kaval. In the interest of getting this wonderful music "out there," Nikolay has given his blessing to it being distributed for free via online download.
You can read about Nikolay and this project, and access the free CD files and booklet (designed by Dan Auvil) by visiting this web page:
EEFC puts on a couple of week-long camps a year, one on the east coast and one on the west coast. They also host a mailing list where very knowledgeable people share words to songs, have deep discussions on their meanings, post events, and occasionally share free music like this.
We left the office party And instead of going home We headed for the hospital -- Someone was coming soon. It took a while to prove it But my daughter's water broke (But then my labor stalled out Until it was nearly noon.) At last the twins were born Though they had no clue to eat With one last hip dislocation My son came out by his feet! -K Royka, 12/12/2025
The latest on that inherited IRA is that I got two email messages from Fidelity today, one saying that I needed to do something [unspecified] to transfer the money from BNY, and one saying specifically that BNY had told Fidelity that they, BNY, needed to talk to me.
So, I called BNY, and after various annoyances with their phone tree, talked to someone. He told me that they had no record yet of receiving the form I sent by next-day mail, but that if the form had arrived late Wednesday they might not be scanned until late today or even Monday. Also that once the form is scanned into the BNY system, it may take a few days before they actually transfer the money into my name, which would be necessary in order to move it to Fidelity.
So, I can (and probably will) call Monday to check that the form was in fact been received, but he thinks I should call later in the week, maybe Wednesday, maybe as late as Friday, and ask for my brand-new account number. Once I have that number, I have to fill out appropriate paperwork with Fidelity. *sigh*
I am both annoyed that even paying for next-day delivery, this is taking several days, and thinking that if I hadn’t paid for faster delivery I would be a few days further behind.
The man also said that once the funds are transferred, they will send me an acknowledgement by mail, including the new account number. However, waiting for that to arrive (rather than getting the information by phone) does not seem prudent, given the IRS deadline for the 2025 required minimum distribution.
On the pump organ in the formal parlor sat two chickens carved in clay in the place in which, were this another home, one might find candles. The one on the right had a rooster’s comb and was shiny with red atop and a dark black bottom, as if he had been dipped in ink, which—of course—was the case.
A lovely atmospheric story. Part of the joy is discovering how it unfolds, so I won’t say more.
When does a week turn to years without end While a day is a blink of the eye? Patience is limited; give me a task And watch how the clock hands spin by. -K Royka, 12/11/2025
Taking the bus might not feel as sexy as driving a Mustang, but this is the role of the passenger princess: to romanticize the blue glow of the late-night buses; to celebrate the serendipitous conversations with poets, former MMA fighters and sommeliers doubling as rideshare drivers; to enjoy the intimacy and trust of a loved one driving you somewhere you need to go. Let’s keep the city yours and mine.
My parents gave me their older car when I was a senior in college, and later I bought one new, both small hatchbacks with few fancy features. I already biked around town a lot and arranged my life so I didn't have to commute by car. After a crash in September 2002 totaled my little blue hatchback, I decided I didn't want another car.
Over the last 23 years as cars have gotten bigger and more complicated and more invasive of privacy, I'm only confirmed in not wanting one.
I use public transit sometimes, and I get rides from friends sometimes, but mostly I get around on foot and by bike. Even in a place with good transit by US standards, it's still infrequent enough and unreliable enough to be a huge hassle. I'd rather be out in the cold and the rain on my bike than standing waiting for a bus.
Someone asked me recently how cold it has to get to stop me from riding. The answer is, cold won't really do it in the places I've lived. In Portland I had good enough gear to ride when it was 25 or 30 degrees. In the Bay Area it just won't get cold enough. Ice and snow stop me, and wind strong enough to blow me into the opposing lane.
I hope I can continue being car-free for a good long time to come. I love being out in the weather, breathing the air, saying hello to other cyclists, and being graciously allowed to cross big streets by drivers. I have a bike trailer to haul big items, and a bike pannier to haul groceries or sheet music or whatever else I need.
This is correct. The document is very clear on that point. But here’s more from Anders:
The United States sees it as a strategic priority… that MAGA movements come to power in Europe, and they intend to use the means that they have to support such movements in the fight against the current centrist governments.
These are some very dramatic statements that have raised deep questions about whether there is any foundation for NATO to function going forward if the United States sees it as a strategic priority to undermine the governments of other NATO countries. …
It’s really hard to see how there can be an alliance any more. The reality is that the views expressed in this [policy document] are in many ways identical to the Russian viewpoints on Europe and the Russian goals of regime change in European countries.
He further discusses the document’s demands for ‘free speech,’ in the sense of ending social media moderation and opposing the exclusion of hate speech, the lifeblood of MAGA fascism. There are several demands in the document around these topics, which he sees – correctly – as focused on helping Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg push MAGA/fascist propaganda into Europe through their algorithmically-driven propaganda machines.
Elon Musk’s “X” is the bigger threat, of course. As Nielsen puts it: “If you’re European, then it is a national security priority to stop using X.” Elon Musk bought Twitter to turn it into a fascist propaganda fountain, as opposed to Zuckerberg’s primary intention of making as much money as possible, working with fascists if that’s what gets the job done.
I have, of course, been saying that it’s time to stop using X since a few months into Elon Musk’s takeover of the site because of this exact reason, but, well – who the fuck listens to me?
Anders’s final key takeaway here is that this document doesn’t show a MAGA-led US deciding not to care at all about Europe, but instead shows a US deciding to care very much about Europe – mostly western Europe – with the specific and stated intention of installing MAGA governments, telling Europe that they must be MAGA – fascist – to be allied with the US.
This move would be an extension of what MAGA see as “their” western hemisphere, which other than western Europe means North and South America, including Greenland.
Naturally, this process would include granting Russia and Trump’s second-best pal Putin their own sphere of influence in the east. This portends the US’s impending betrayal of Ukraine, and later, a betrayal of the Baltic states, Poland, probably a couple of others (Moldova? Romania? Bulgaria?) as well.
But why? Does Trump love Putin and Orban that much?
I believe It’s more than that, and more than Trump’s ego, believe it or not. It’s more than his desperate longing to be a dictator and it’s more than his sheer will to steal every dollar in sight. Trump and MAGA, well… they are definitively fools, morons, white nationalists, imperialists, longing for a white imperial past. But I still think that Putin has more choate strategic plans than Trump, and I still think Ukraine is a climate war, so…
…shall I post this line again? Sure, I’ll post this line again. Here’s what I think Putin really wants – not what he’ll get, what he wants. It’s a minimum goal, to “secure” the nation:
That’s oversimplified, of course, but this is a small map and a big thick line. The reality would be far different, and most likely more like existing national boundaries, but still: it gets the idea across.
Meanwhile, when Russian maximalists and propaganda shills talk about how “we should march all the way to Paris” – which they do, repeatedly – here’s what I think they want:
And what do these lines have in common?
Mountains.
Tall, easier to defend, mountainous, migration-blocking borders.
It’s simple-minded in a lot of ways, I suppose, but so is keeping the border at the Rhine and that kept French foreign policy busy for a few centuries, so border politics don’t have to be all that complex.
Putin et al – they know climate change is real. Trump’s a decaying fool and might not know now if he ever did, but Putin? He knows. But heading a petrostate dictatorship with lots of far-northern land? He doesn’t want to stop it, because it’s the outsourced expense of allllllll Russia’s money, and if billions die, well, that’s the cost of doing business.
I call map one Putin’s Wall. Map two? Let’s call it Solovyov’s Wall, since as far as I can tell he’s the most famous proponent of “marching all the way to Paris.” Soloyvov’s Wall isn’t attainable – it won’t happen, it’s (ugh) aspirational – but I do think Trump wants to give Putin his wall, and that Putin has enough trust in Russia’s ability to handle MAGA that he’s willing to let Trump and his replacements handle the west.
Personally, I think MAGA has enough interest in a semi-mythical White Europe that they’re willing to do it. As long as they’re lead by the right – white, fascist – governments.
Hence, this hideous betrayal of a document.
That said, let me be real clear about something: On their own, Russia cannot attain Putin’s Wall. It’d take a complete American betrayal and European capitulation for them to have any chance. They cannot do it alone.
But thanks to MAGA and Trump, they’re on the edge of getting that American betrayal. They want to push that betrayal to completion. If they get it, then they’ll help the US make MAGA happen in Europe, in order to get the second necessary condition of European collapse and capitulation.
Russia’s no match for the EU as a whole. But torn apart? Picking off one little country at a time is… it’s not easy, it’s absolutely not, but they’re willing to kill as many of their own as is necessary for as long as is necessary to do it. Particularly if they’re ethnic minorities. And since nobody wants to flee a climate disaster to a war zone anyway, so he wins either way. Whether deterred by mountains or by war, refugees would go elsewhere, or not at all.
And that’s why I think this is a climate war. Not a war triggered by climate changes in Russia, but by Russia wanting to keep oil and gas going forever and keep out the people that will starve and kill.
You noticed Iran saying that Tehran will have to be abandoned as a capital, didn’t you? It’s more corruption and incompetence than climate change – but it’s a bit of all three. Climate change has moved the timetable. Made things worse. And yet, we’re just getting started.
So, then. Where are we? Ah, yes. How this all plays out.
There’s a bit of a feeling out there that Trump is weakened and even some who think that this nightmare is… more or less over. That Trump is a “lame duck,” that there is no MAGA without him.
That’s partially true. Trump is weakened. MAGA is, too, and they’ve been dependant upon his stardom – and fandom – to reach critical mass. They will be badly wounded – but not out – once he goes.
But none of that means this is over. The more trouble MAGA and Trump think they’re in, the more Trump and MAGA will lash out, trying to push their fascist power fantasies into existence. We will all see more betrayals, more sabotage, more oppression – the ICE army of white supremacists they’re working to summon into existence, funded by the so-called “big beautiful bill,” will actively work to dwarf the violence and abuses we’ve seen this year.
It’s their vision of the future, and they’re going to fight for it. It’s what they want, it’s what they’re all in to get, and it’s what they will do anything to achieve.
And they will not go down quietly. Take heart in the recent massive election shifts. Take heart in Trump’s decay and weakness and failing… opinion polls. Take heart in the America First/MAGA civil war. Take heart in all of it.
But do not, for a moment, think this is actually over.
The Shocking Crash That Led One County to Reckon With the Dangers of E-Bikes by David Darlington. This is an unlocked New York Times article (posted to the Grizzly Peak Cyclists mailing list) about a bad e-bike crash in Marin County and the political fallout from it. Content note for description of the injury and medical treatment, although the teenager did survive.
The article sparked quite the discussion on the mailing list about reckless e-bike riders on multi-use paths, the pleasures of riding an e-bike and being able to go further and faster without a car, the differences between e-bikes (pedal assist) and e-motos (no pedaling required), and the disingenuousness of the concern about e-bike injuries when cars and motorcycles are far more dangerous to drivers, pedestrians, and the environment.
The person I ride with regularly rides an e-bike, and that has led me to appreciate them more. I look forward to owning one someday when I can't get to where I need to go on my acoustic/manual/regular bike. It's nice to know I have an option other than getting a car or taking lots of taxi rides. And, I still don't appreciate being passed without warning by people on silent fast vehicles who haven't learned bike manners.
Already, the first of us snuck out the door Every day marks another few gone Even the leaders aren't here anymore Soon, only silence and stillness stay on -K Royka, 12/9/2025
I realized today that a lot of my friends don't know about what I've gone through this year.
Last year in June I moved back to Minnesota to look after my dad. My mom was in the hospital for a month and then moved to a nursing home with sudden-onset dementia (B1 deficiency) secondary to cancer.
I intended to support them temporarily but decided to make it a more permanent move to support them and their many animals. I struggled and kept expecting other family members to step up, but they did not.
I was hospitalized in May 2025 after a seizure. (Two seizures in 3 years means a new diagnosis of epilepsy.) I am missing about a week or 2 of memories from directly after that experience, so I don't know for sure what happened. I was busy looking after my dad and the animals, and then coordinating a move for my parents into assisted living, which I mostly did myself, While recovering from a seizure, with a broken rib.
I don't know why-- again, I don't remember (likely from medication side effects), but no one from the family came to help me directly after the seizure. My dad (who has dementia) and I did it alone. I'm angry about it and need people to know.
I supported my family for a year and half and did not receive any funds, no salary, very little emotional or logistical help from my brother, his wife, or his 4 healthy teenage kids. There is a wider extended family and they didn't show up either. We got some occasional visits but it wasn't enough.
Since moving my parents into assisted living, I have continued to support them in many ways, including looking after their farm and animals, again with no funds.
This week I asked my brother to help me advocate with my dad, to get me some money. He said no. He believes we should sell the farm (where I am now living). He made no mention of any provisions for me.
I'm obviously very upset, but the anger is at least helping me communicate about what is happening. I am reaching out to friends and various family members and trying to raise the alarm to protect myself.
I am safe for the time being but it is not the best idea for me to be living alone. I had intended to find roommates to come live here with me, but there are some barriers, including me not being the property owner, and the house being a bit of a mess. My next step is to directly talk to my parents about this situation. They both have dementia but I think they are capable of understanding my position.
I am currently unsure what the best course of action is moving forward. But I at least want folks to know what is going on. It's been very helpful to talk on the phone with friends who are affirming to me that this is a fucked up way to be treated. It's been a bitter pill to swallow, realizing that my family is exploiting me.
from the passphrase string "fabulous tattoo Harvey", Reddit user u/waydomatic and ChatGPT made
( this cheerful example )
The LLM thinks Harvey is a muscular white guy wearing a skimpy purple Speedo; arms, shoulder and upper chest covered in rose tattoos. He flexes his right arm and flashes a big white smile under his handlebar mustache. Of course he's wearing a rose crown.
Saving the generated image would certainly be more secure than writing down the password.
Monday we visited Tuscola so I could take pictures of the holiday window paintings. These were done by Libby Neathery of Libby Jo Art Studio and there are 22 in this year's batch. I did not find quite all of them but I came close. Despite changing the camera batteries right before we left home, I barely got through the two sides of the block with Flesor's Candy Kitchen before the batteries died, so we had to stop and get new ones. I did manage to finish photographing the rest of the windows we found. I love seeing local artists do things like this, because it encourages people to get out and look for them. A little slice of Terramagne! (Continue with Part 2.)
Here's another song we're singing this time, Nazdrave Ti, Chorbadžijo, "Cheers to You, Master of the House." This is a caroling song with a strong dance rhythm, and I took to it much more happily than Otče Naš. Koleda is the Bulgarian term for the Christmas season. And I love the design of this album cover!
Cheers to you, master of the house! Oh, Koleda! We sing to you, we praise God. As much sand there is by the sea, May you have as much grain in this house. As much water there is in the sea, May you have as much wine in your barrels. As many leaves as there are in the forest, May you have as many sheep in your pens.
I went out in the cold today, took a shuttle buses that was replacing the central part of the green line, and walked into a Fidelity office to get the medallion signature I need on the BNY form.
They provided the medallion for my signature, but the woman who handled that told me she thought I would need to redo the _Fidelity_ forms once BNY had transferred the funds, because the inherited IRA would need a brand-new account, not the one I created for the purpose a few weeks ago. Having printed and signed those forms, I asked her to keep them, in case they are usable. (She may have been thinking I'm trying to move the money into an account that already has money in it.)
She also said I do need to put the form with the medallion signature in the mail to BNY, Fidelity can't send it to them electronically. I brought the medallion-ized form home with me, but before I put it in the mail I'm going to scan it and upload the scan to the Fidelity website, in case the previous advisor is right and they can do this electronically.
So that will be another outing in the cold, to a post office, in the hope the letter gets to BNY in good season despite both Christmas packages and the Republican effort to destroy the postal service. Fortunately, there are post office branches at this end of the green line, the part that's still running trolleys.
ETA: I scanned the document, and just uploaded it to the Fidelity website, with a message explaining that I will be mailing the hardcopy to BNY tomorrow.
The Balkan choir I sing with performed at a center for adults with disabilities on Friday, and we were vocally and enthusiastically received by the audience in their power and manual wheelchairs. It was stressful to prepare the songs for it, but fun once we were there, and I hope we'll do more like that.
One of the songs we sang is Otche Nash, a 4-part setting of the Lord's Prayer in Old Church Slavonic, which is like a mix of Bulgarian and Russian.
When someone proposed learning the song at the ad hoc monthly group a year ago, I was grumpy about having something so fundamentally Christian shoved down my throat, and we put it aside. In this weekly choir we learn whatever the teacher gives us, so I had to make my peace with it. Another singer said she doesn't mind it because it's asking the Universe for good things. I guess so...
Eva Quartet recorded it, and here's a live performance.