tim: Tim with short hair, smiling, wearing a black jacket over a white T-shirt (Default)
[CW: ableism]

The Donor Sibling Registry is an organization that helps people like me, who were conceived using anonymous donor sperm, find people genetically related to us. I joined a few years ago out of curiosity, and also joined the Facebook group for the registry, both of which are run by Wendy Kramer.

Today, Wendy reposted a letter from a parent that implied that action should be taken to prevent sperm banks from distributing sperm belonging to autistic donors. I asked whether she intended to make the group unsafe for disabled people by starting a debate about whether we exist, and it became clear that she did:

It doesn't matter what your opinion about the letter is; to pass it along is an act that contributes to a climate of violence against disabled people. If you believe that it's no less desirable to have an autistic child than a neurotypical one, you can tell the letter-writer that their concern is misdirected and decline to spread it to a bigger audience. Making the choice to pass it along tells people that the group isn't safe for disabled people.

It's too bad that what might otherwise be a useful resource is run by a person who (at best) doesn't understand how giving people the option to not conceive an autistic child is eugenics, and gets defensive and abusive in response to disabled people calling them out.

Details (CW: ableism) )
tim: A person with multicolored hair holding a sign that says "Binaries Are For Computers" with rainbow-colored letters (binaries)
CW: depression, suicide

"And you can stay busy all day
He’s never going away"
-- the Mountain Goats, "Keeping House"

I've lived with depression for 24 years, more than two-thirds of my life. That's not to say that I subjectively feel depressed all the time, thankfully, just that for me, depression is a chronic illness. Sometimes, it incapacitates me. Sometimes, I have periods of time that make me ask myself, "So is this what it's like to be a normal person?". Most of the time, it's present as ambient noise that rarely quiets completely.

It is currently popular to talk about depression as a thing exterior to a person, like a virus that uses a person as a host but has no real life of its own. I guess it's popular among people with good intentions: they want to de-stigmatized depression. But the metaphor of depression as an evil monster that takes you over makes me wildly uncomfortable. The evil-monster metaphor frames depression as a thing a person has, like a suitcase, that can be put down -- not an intrinsic part of a person. Alternately, it frames depression as being like a demon on your shoulder, whispering lies in your ear: it's a bad part of yourself, it's your "jerkbrain". It's an interloper that is occupying your mind and body with no regard for you.
Read more... )

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tim: Tim with short hair, smiling, wearing a black jacket over a white T-shirt (Default)
Tim Chevalier

December 2018

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