*cheers* I love how you put this together, and I will come back and read it again for the layers.
If you believe that guessers are just lazy and could be askers like you if they just pulled up their socks and dealt with it... The icing on the cake is that I did pull up my socks and deal with it, and I get all kinds of blowback for that, too. It's a double-bind can't win any way game, at least for women.
Part of it for me is that I moved from the East Coast to the West Coast, and then from the Bay Area to Portland, deeper and deeper into Guess culture. But I don't think that's all of it. In my experience, the denigration of not asking for what you want is just one way of saying, "It's all your fault." When I started asking, it's all my fault because I'm "too aggressive" and "don't get along well with people." /bitter rant
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Date: 2016-08-10 06:14 pm (UTC)If you believe that guessers are just lazy and could be askers like you if they just pulled up their socks and dealt with it...
The icing on the cake is that I did pull up my socks and deal with it, and I get all kinds of blowback for that, too. It's a double-bind can't win any way game, at least for women.
Part of it for me is that I moved from the East Coast to the West Coast, and then from the Bay Area to Portland, deeper and deeper into Guess culture. But I don't think that's all of it. In my experience, the denigration of not asking for what you want is just one way of saying, "It's all your fault." When I started asking, it's all my fault because I'm "too aggressive" and "don't get along well with people." /bitter rant