Ah ha. That last thing might have made some since to me.
I tend to put myself in situations that are personally challenging, so that I can see who I really am. For example, as you know, I moved to another country to do my PhD. I can tell you exactly how many times someone has asked me why I, an American, came to Holland to study when there are so many good schools in the US: every single person that I met here. I did this because it is precisely what I wanted to do, not what others would expect of me. I wanted to find my own identity (of a sort), and I felt that I could benefit from this change. I have grown stronger and learned a lot about myself in the process.
quitting a job that's making you miserable and you've just been making excuses to avoid admitting that to yourself (you can't quit because you're about to get a raise, about to get a security clearance, what would your partner do without the extra income, there's so much social status attached to this job...),
This is similar to what I feel like with every major change I have made in my life. I feel the social pressure against it and the internal pressure of not being certain of the consequences. I leave the comfortable behind and press on with the difficult.
I don't know if what I'm saying matches what you said, but I have an idea. You felt that this was how your life should be, and the real problem was convincing everybody else to see it as you do.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Re: Bathroom
Date: 2010-05-22 10:56 pm (UTC)I tend to put myself in situations that are personally challenging, so that I can see who I really am. For example, as you know, I moved to another country to do my PhD. I can tell you exactly how many times someone has asked me why I, an American, came to Holland to study when there are so many good schools in the US: every single person that I met here. I did this because it is precisely what I wanted to do, not what others would expect of me. I wanted to find my own identity (of a sort), and I felt that I could benefit from this change. I have grown stronger and learned a lot about myself in the process.
This is similar to what I feel like with every major change I have made in my life. I feel the social pressure against it and the internal pressure of not being certain of the consequences. I leave the comfortable behind and press on with the difficult.
I don't know if what I'm saying matches what you said, but I have an idea. You felt that this was how your life should be, and the real problem was convincing everybody else to see it as you do.