Please tell me precisely what's good about me

[tim]

Edit: Thank you for all the comments! I have now switched back to not allowing anonymous commenting. Also, I'm tracking IP addresses again for future comments, but IPs for comments on this post still won't be exposed to me. I can't disable comments on this post without hiding all the existing comments, so I won't, but I don't need any more for now :) Here's why I did this experiment.

I'm doing an experiment (and will reveal why after I've gotten some data). I've temporarily enabled anonymous commenting for this post (actually my entire journal since you can't do it post-by-post, shhh) and I'm temporarily not tracking IP addresses (eventually I will turn that back on, but Dreamwidth won't show me the IP addresses for comments posted in the interim). Anonymous comments will be screened, and as usual, I'll unscreen them unless you say "Don't unscreen this".

With that said: tell me what you like about me, or what you think is good about me. One or two sentences is okay; if you want to say more, that's okay too. It would help if you could be as precise as possible, but don't obsess too much. Just say what you would say if somebody called you up and said they're checking my background, and to just say whatever comes to mind about me. You have the choice of commenting as yourself, or anonymously.

I'm not intending for this to be a meme, but feel free to make it one. I didn't come up with the idea, though.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Idealism. I'm going to blow my cover here, but idealistic white dudes inside the machine, even when we don't always agree, is a huge, huge thing.
A willingness to listen without assumption.
Loyalty.
Willingness to act.

I could go on, but these are the big four. I never feel like you're gonna bite my hand if you don't like my idea, and honest criticism is gold in ways that people don't always understand.

[(Anonymous)]

You say interesting things to say about gender, including but not just how it affects your life.

[sasha_feather]

You are thoughtful, think deeply about things and say what you mean-- I think, like myself, you are a straightforward and trustworthy sort of person. You seem like you have a good sense of humor.

[(Anonymous)]

You are actively striving to be better.

[bookherd]

I don't know why this is easier in third person, but it is, so here you go:

Tim:
- is highly intelligent and, given his resume, apparently a very good coder.
- thinks hard about topics many people shy away from, and speaks frankly about his thoughts.
- will admit when he is wrong and, when appropriate, apologize.
- is unapologetic about who he is without being an asshole about it.
- pays attention to and amplifies marginalized voices, particularly those of women and transpersons.
- "gets" feminism and is outspoken on behalf of persons who are not cis males, especially in computer sciences.
- has an offbeat sense of humor.
- somehow maintains optimism about human nature, despite considerable evidence in his personal history for the opposite perspective.
- enjoys learning and sharing what he's learned with others.
- is an engaging writer with a lot of interesting things to say.

[(Anonymous)]

You are uncompromising about principles but never personally threatening or abusive. That's so very rare.

[(Anonymous)]

You have always struck me as intimidatingly good. I say intimidatingly because it puts me in mind of something in one of Diane Duane's Young Wizards books: direct contact with the Powers that Be is actually a bit of a dangerous hobby for a human to get into, because the Powers are impatient with mere human flaws, including the flaws of their own vessels, and they tend to burn through whatever impurities they encounter.

That's what you try to do to obstacles between you and justice.

[luinied]

• You don't shy away from talking about difficult, complicated problems (e.g., this post), even when it would be easier / more convenient to just stay quiet.


• You continue to refine your worldview and opinions as an adult, even as an adult over 30, motivated by wanting to treat other people better, with a focus on other people that is directly (rather than inversely) proportional with how much oppression they've suffered.


• I've learned a lot from you, specifically in ways that I hope have made me able to treat people better, and/or that will make me able to potentially treat people better in the future.

[wild_irises]

I am always interested in what tim has to say, on a wide variety of topics. I especially appreciate his precision; he doesn't gloss over complications or nuances, and he doesn't (except when he's angry) take one side as if it were the whole picture.

[(Anonymous)]

You're fun when you're very horny.

[tim]

LOL, I'm curious who this is, as the two posts I wrote about sex recently were both written when I wasn't at all horny, and the number of people who have interacted with me in a horniness-related context is quite small. You don't have to say, though :)

Respect

[franklinchen]

I've never met you, but enjoy your writing. I like you because you speak your mind, but with respect for your reader; because you accept that there are different sides to every situation, and acknowledge them, while not adopting the cowardly option of either assuming they are all equally valid or that only one is.

[(Anonymous)]

Interactions with you have really made me think deeply about privileged, and I thank you for that. That, I suppose boils down to two good things about you:
* You are aware and thoughtful about how other people see the world, and try to do the right thing.
* You communicate that awareness to others.

[juli]

Tim is a very reflective person who has the capacity to learn from his mistakes, and a willingness to make them. He is deeply-engaged around issues of social justice and is not at all afraid to take unpopular positions in the cause of right. Tim challenges empty rhetoric directly and does not tolerate even passive acquiescence to something he knows is wrong. While I have not always shared Tim's perspective on issues we both care about, I find him to be a person of integrity and seriousness, who gives deep thought to his positions, and investigates his own biases deeply. I am always appreciative of Tim's ability and willingness to advocate for others, and hope that he will continue to grow in his ability to advocate for himself. While Tim is a very serious person at heart, he is not so earnest as to be unapproachable, nor does he shy away from enjoyment of life and relationships with others. Tim is very capable of relaxing and pursuing pleasure and leisure when appropriate, but he also does not neglect his convictions in doing so. Tim is not exploitative of others, and takes responsibility for the things he enjoys. Tim is critical without losing his ability to connect with others. Tim is often fun to be around, and is pleasantly-talkative. Tim is a very encouraging friend, and a trustworthy confidant.

[https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawlDupwkgKRVH13v29ErS9ttGd07eJJNvr0]

I've never met you in person. Having said that, here's what I've gathered from the last ten years of online interactions, mostly in a programming language context:

- High intelligence.
- Strong compassion.
- Enormous curiosity and eagerness to acquire knowledge and understanding, where understanding is more important than knowledge.
- Low tolerance for bullshit, and the ability to cut through the bullshit and get right to the heart of the matter.
- High idealism, now tempered by a hard-won jadedness acquired over the time that I've known you. I consider that a good thing, because frustrated idealism in an intelligent person inevitably produces a clever sense of humour.
- A drive to get useful things done, which is far better for the world than a drive to get things done in general.

[karlht]

I regret that you and I did not get to work together for the short time we worked at the same place. Your writing has led me to interesting questions and further exploration of topics like privilege, discrimination, and intersectional feminism, which in turn has appreciably improved my understanding of the world.

I do not always agree with you, but I find your point of view consistently well thought out and understandable.

[puzzlement]

Hopefully this won't sound too patronising, I'm having trouble leaving a "report card"-like tone out of it. So just know that I don't usually think about people in this kind of language.

You're a good writer and you are deeply engaged with writing, particularly with analytical and argumentative writing, as a craft.

You are responsible. When part of groups, you are good at identifying tasks for yourself and doing them correctly and consistently. You'll invent processes where there aren't any, and you'll improve them where there are some that need improvement.

You approach your life with both analytical distance and thoughtfulness. You are very clear about your goals and their status, but also flexible about them.

[eriktrips]

I know I am late but

you are damned fine rhetorician and it makes me happy that you have infiltrated the IT industry with your ability to hone in on discursive power trips, excise their baseless assumptions, and lay them out for all to see.

you are one of a very small handful of people who are able to be generous without any hidden agendas. unless you have hidden some so well that you cannot even find them anymore. the consequences are happily the same.

[tim]

Thank you! Better late than never :)