2018-04-19

tim: Tim with short hair, smiling, wearing a black jacket over a white T-shirt (Default)
2018-04-19 08:37 am
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The Donor Sibling Registry isn't for disabled people

[CW: ableism]

The Donor Sibling Registry is an organization that helps people like me, who were conceived using anonymous donor sperm, find people genetically related to us. I joined a few years ago out of curiosity, and also joined the Facebook group for the registry, both of which are run by Wendy Kramer.

Today, Wendy reposted a letter from a parent that implied that action should be taken to prevent sperm banks from distributing sperm belonging to autistic donors. I asked whether she intended to make the group unsafe for disabled people by starting a debate about whether we exist, and it became clear that she did:

It doesn't matter what your opinion about the letter is; to pass it along is an act that contributes to a climate of violence against disabled people. If you believe that it's no less desirable to have an autistic child than a neurotypical one, you can tell the letter-writer that their concern is misdirected and decline to spread it to a bigger audience. Making the choice to pass it along tells people that the group isn't safe for disabled people.

It's too bad that what might otherwise be a useful resource is run by a person who (at best) doesn't understand how giving people the option to not conceive an autistic child is eugenics, and gets defensive and abusive in response to disabled people calling them out.

Details (CW: ableism) )