You're welcome. With that said, I'm afraid my message still didn't, apparently, get through to you. The problem with trying to solve a social problem by asking the marginalized to change their behavior -- which is what you're doing by saying "please speak up" -- is that you're asking the people who are being abused to do the work that the abuser should be doing. That's what the whole "emotional labor" concept is meant to highlight.

Intent doesn't matter; effects matter. That you didn't mean to drop that 50-pound anvil on my foot doesn't make it hurt any less. If you ask me to explain how my nervous system works at that point, and how is it that dropping a heavy object on my bones and tendons could be so painful, I'm going to wonder why you didn't already know.

The thing is that very little harm is done by people who are trying to be nasty and cruel. The vast majority is done by people just like you -- people who don't have the energy to oppose all of the forces that make it easy to do nasty and cruel things (regardless of whether you are nasty and cruel). So rather than asking me to change, why don't you become more usefully flawed instead of perfectly useless? And instead of telling oppressed people how to resist their oppression, why don't you tell oppressors not to oppress?