On the other hoof, it remains true that people rarely emulate folks who piss them off. If the goal is outreach, the tone needs to be appealing. If the goal is visibility -- and you don't care if it bugs people -- that's different. Shocking people awake and making allies are two different goals. They may or may not overlap in a given organization or community. But you should know what your goals are and whether the tactics you choose are doing a good job of meeting them.

The problem is that enough people have heard the "tone argument" argument that it tends to shut down discussion that might be productive. The trick is identifying when you have a valid opportunity for discussion vs. when people are just being jerks. And that's ubiquitous across pretty much all activisms.