Without that, referring to them by anything other than their name is to minimize their involvement--- which can be appropriate if they truly are a "collaborator". Referring to them by any non-work relationship is demeaning, and a horrific throwback to the Victorian era where women's involvement in science had to be "blessed" by some male superior.

Yeah, that gets at exactly why I posted this poll. The speaker in question definitely had no basis to assume that anyone there was any more familiar with his wife's work than with his own, and I don't think he even *was* assuming so.

I added the Dr./Ms./whatever options mostly just to pad things out :-)