Together. As we do with all things.

Feb. 24th, 2017 06:05 am
azurelunatic: AO3 rating glyph: Explicit, Multi-relationships, choose not to warn, unfinished.  (how is this my life)
[personal profile] azurelunatic
There are a few resonant phrases in this relationship. Some are endearments and other such private things.

There are two that occupy adjacent spaces.

"As long as we both want it."
That's our time commitment. If both of us no longer want the relationship, it's time to work on dismantling it with the same consideration and love we put into constructing it. If so many as one of us no longer wants it, it's time to end it.

And as long as we both do want it, that means putting in the work. Being present. Taking care. Tackling the problems that pop up.

And there will be problems. But we don't have to face them alone anymore.

"Together. As we do with all things."

Even when we still have to do a specific part alone, the principle stays with us. The hard things are a little less hard with someone holding your hand.
jesse_the_k: amazed Alanna (hero of Staples/Vaughn SAGA comic) (alanna is amazed)
[personal profile] jesse_the_k

The Bottle Boys make beautiful music using found instruments:

  • Melodies from blowing across beer bottles (in 10-packs, carefully tuned) and
  • Percussion from shaking pop bottles full of rocks and beating a large, empty carboy.

You can see the many instrumental pop songs they’ve covered at

www.thebottleboys.com

Combine that with a quartet of three violin & a cello and you’ve got this video:

Stings Strings & Bottles )

[description: All players are white, blond, male Danes. Additional melodies come from

  • a glass harmonica of wine glasses, their rims excited by chopsticks, finger tips, and violin bows
  • an alto pan pipe of test-tubes
  • a tenor pan pipe of wine bottles
  • a bass pan pipe of growlers
  • inserting fingers in bottle neck and swiftly popping them

Percussion includes

  • hand slapping chest
  • hands & chopsticks on the cello
  • a wee plastic egg full of rice]

Empathetic gaze

Feb. 23rd, 2017 03:21 pm
sasha_feather: the back of furiosa's head (furiosa: back of head)
[personal profile] sasha_feather
Previous post on this subject: https://sasha-feather.dreamwidth.org/1025648.html

While talking with Jesse about how to *really* get at what I want to describe, rather than male gaze or female gaze, what we came up with was empathetic or empathizing gaze vs. Objectifying gaze.

I like accuracy of language, as you have probably figured out if you've known me a while.

You can divide any image into thirds. Your eye will fall onto the top third line or bottom third line of the frame. What sits on this line? Objectifying images often have breasts and hips of women at the top and bottom thirds. Empathethic gaze images will have the subject's eyes at the top third line (or sometimes the center or bottom third) of the image; the point is that you are focusing on their eyes and that encourages you to feel what they are feeling.

TJ and Amal (http://tjandamal.com/) is a good example of empathetic gaze in a comics medium.
Also see:
Mad Max: Fury Road
Moonlight - notice the focus on eyes and hands in the trailer (https://youtu.be/9NJj12tJzqc)

Croydon Fun Weekend 2018

Feb. 23rd, 2017 04:43 pm
nou: The word "kake" in a white monospaced font on a black background (Default)
[personal profile] nou

Just a quick heads-up that, after a year off in 2017, the Croydon Fun Weekend will be back in 2018, running from Friday 26 January to Sunday 28 January.

I’ll provide more details closer to the time; but in the meantime, if you’re interested in helping to organise the weekend or in running any sessions, please let me know! For an idea of the sort of things that might be included, see programmes from previous years: 2014, 2015, 2016.

(no subject)

Feb. 23rd, 2017 12:48 pm
dingsi: The Corinthian smoking a cigarette. He looks down thoughtfully and breathes the smoke out of his nose. (Default)
[personal profile] dingsi
so... turned out the problem with my knee is actually osteoarthritis

amazing


(it's not amazing)
sonia: Quilted wall-hanging (Default)
[personal profile] sonia
Why Does Dating Men Make Me Feel Like Shit? by Emma Lindsay
Usually instead of saying “I am turned on by that woman,” a man will say “that woman is hot.” The first phrasing places the locus of control within his own body (aka, in a way, making it “his fault” if he gets turned on), the second phrasing places the locus of control within the woman’s body (making it “her fault” if he gets turned on.)


This article explains rape culture. Men locate control of their sexual feelings in women instead of themselves because they feel ashamed. Wow. I've noticed the shame, but never understood it this clearly.

Two Great Vids from the Festivids

Feb. 22nd, 2017 03:51 pm
jesse_the_k: Macro photo of left eye of my mostly black border collie mutt (Default)
[personal profile] jesse_the_k
Vidding defined )

Although the annual Festivids discussion and commenting happen on Dreamwidth (mirrored on Livejournal, Tumblr, IRC and so forth), the vids themselves are posted in many places. In my brief experience, the most lasting is Festivids' own site.

For now, all the 2016 Festivids are here
http://fv-poster.dreamwidth.org/336383.html

and for the future, visit
http://www.festivids.net/festivids/festivids-2016

The two highlights for me: A Better Son/Daughter and Get Better )

Giving up the Dead

Feb. 20th, 2017 10:53 pm
bcholmes: (being dead like me)
[personal profile] bcholmes

I’m having an email correspondence with a genealogist in Ireland. I’m looking to hire her to find records on my Holmes ancestors before they came to Canada. It’s been a slow conversation, with a number of delays, but I’m hoping that something will come of it.

But today we were talking about a particular part of the tree, and while looking at my records for that part of the tree, I realized that I’d failed to transcribe some data.

Here’s the story. I’ve mentioned before that the first of my family to come to Canada are Andrew and Susan (Susannah) Holmes, who emigrated here in 1845. I’ve also mentioned that Andrew died in quarantine at Grosse Île, Quebec. But they brought with them six of their seven children, who spread out and several of those kids end up in Lambton County, where I grew up.

So I’m interested in the one that stayed behind, Mary Ann Holmes, born around 1811. She was the oldest of the seven children and she was already married at the time the family moved to Canada (the second oldest, Margaret Holmes, was also married, but she brought her husband along to Canada with her). Some time before 1861, Mary Ann joined the rest of the family in Canada. Her husband, James Dowler, remained in Ireland. The author of Those Irish Holmes’ writes, “‘Tis said he loved the Emerald Isle, the thrill of its strife, and another woman.”

Mary Ann went to Lambton County and moved in with her brother, John Holmes and his wife, Mary Wilkinson. John and Mary only had one kid, but Mary Ann brought five with her. The youngest of those five might have been born in Canada, if the censuses are to be believed. If so, either Mary Ann was pregnant on the ride over, or James Dowler wasn’t the kid’s father. Or the censuses are wrong. This line of the family doesn’t have it easy. Mary Ann’s daughter, Ann Dowler, died in the London Insane Asylum. Her older brother, Thomas, might have also spent some time there.

Read the rest of this entry »

Mirrored from Under the Beret.

sonia: Quilted wall-hanging (Default)
[personal profile] sonia
On Belonging by Kate Leth

"I don't count because I'm in a relationship." "I don't count because I've only ever kissed one girl." "I don't feel like I count in the queer community because I have a boyfriend." "I want to go to pride but people always scoff at me and my partner." "I'm not gay enough." "I'm not straight enough."

It's not something any of us bring up at the dinner table unprovoked, but I have heard it over and over again.

(no subject)

Feb. 20th, 2017 12:47 pm
dingsi: The Corinthian lifting his sunglasses to reveal his teeth-eyes, a blood splatter added to the bottom left corner (armor)
[personal profile] dingsi
If I have to read/hear one more variation on how being binary trans is "less progressive" than non-binary identities or "too mainstream" or "upholding the gender binary", and labels such as gay & lesbian are "too restrictive" and "outdated", and cis gay men are "the straights of the LGBT community" --

ffffffffffffff

I'm not even an active activist and I'm already burnt out on this shit
[personal profile] alexbayleaf

Originally published at Spinster's Bayley. You can comment here or there.

It’s been a long time since I posted, but I’m trying to get going again so I’ll just dive right in.

It’s been a slow, cool summer. Tomatoes hardly ripening (just a few handfuls, mostly cherries) and I wonder whether I’ll have any to preserve this year?  Despite the cool weather, things are slowly coming along including the corn my neighbour is growing for both of us (I’m responsible for pumpkins), enough zucchini (but not too much), and self-seeded greens starting to sprout.  Thanks to the cool weather I also had a crop of mushrooms off a compost delivery, which quickly made it into several meals.

I set up a weighing station by the back door, inspired by hearing of a Melbourne acquaintance who grew 350kg of food on her 1/14th acre block, but I have to admit I’ve only weighed in a couple of kilos in these first two months of 2017.

Corn in my neighbour’s backyard
A cool summer
Weighing station by the back door

Pasta with pesto genovese, zucchini and mushrooms.

A friend left me a basketful of plums, which got made into plum mead. There’s a funny story involving condoms as airlocks – check my instagram.  Just recently, I’ve been picking with a group who are starting a project called the Hidden Orchard, which aims to harvest fruit from unloved fruit trees in people’s backyards, as well as pruning and maintaining the trees throughout the year.  I’ve also been picking elderberries, to make elderberry syrup and perhaps elderberry mead.  I posted an elderberry recipe on my Tinyletter – check the archives.

Plums and op shop books from Carla
Elderberries don’t smell of anything, despite what Monty Python say
Hidden Orchard harvest is donated to community groups


A month or so back I moved into the smallest bedroom of the house – really very small, just enough room for a single bed and a chest of drawers – just to see how I felt about it.  Conclusion: I like being in a small room, like curling up in a nest, with nothing else in there but my personal effects. It is very important to keep it tidy, though, as there’s no room for a “floordrobe” or any other clutter to pile up.

I’ve also been making salves from calendula oil (calendula harvested and dried in spring, then infused in olive oil) and beeswax left over from candles. I made two kinds, one very thick that I use on my cracked heels, any small scratches, or even as a lip balm; the second is less waxy and I use it just as a general moisturiser.

My nest
Keeping things tidy, konmari style
Calendula balms

Visiting Jonai Farms’ happy pigs
Touring Yonke’s property as part of the PDC

Finally, I’ve been out and about. A few weeks ago I paid a visit to my friends Tammi and Stuart at Jonai Farms, then on to Daylesford where I spent a great day with Patrick, Meg and Woody of Artist as Family. It was so interesting I didn’t even take any photos, but they gave me heaps of great info and reassurance about living car-free in smaller country towns, and they have a house that’s very similar in style to what I want!  More recently I’ve been doing a Permaculture Design Course with the local permaculture guild, which means regular treks out to a friend’s farm where most of the course is held, plus additional site visits to other properties.  Everywhere I go now, I think about how I’d get there by bike. Next month, I hope, I’ll have the opportunity to try it!

(no subject)

Feb. 19th, 2017 04:23 pm
synecdochic: torso of a man wearing jeans, hands bound with belt (Default)
[personal profile] synecdochic
dear Dreamwidth, I owe you a massive entry catching up with all my shit over the past goddamn too long forever, including our awesome photos of our awesome vacation and pics of the new cat we SOMEHOW WOUND UP WITH (don't ask, the internet was involved), but that will have to wait for when I have more time. Instead, I am making this entry to say that I started Concerta for my shiny new official ADHD (combined type) diagnosis yesterday, and HOLY SHIT IS THIS HOW EVERYONE ELSE'S BRAINS WORK? Like, thinking of one thing at a time?

(Weirdly, it has slowed down my reading speed. Apparently "taking in an entire paragraph at a time" is an ADHD symptom.)

I've had the symptoms my whole life (allllll the way back to elementary school) but was one of the generation of undiagnosed girls because the diagnosis was based on presentation in boys, and my various coping mechanisms have gone to shit in the last few years as my neuroplasticity wanes. It always seemed like way too much effort to pursue the actual diagnosis until now, but holy shit the difference with the goddamn meds.

EDIT: Forgot to add, also, I FINALLY FOUND AN OB-GYN WHO WILL EVICT MY UTERUS FOR ME. Surgery is in 11 days. NO MORE FUCKING CONSTANT UTERINE CRAMPS

Three Lovely Things

Feb. 17th, 2017 06:05 pm
jesse_the_k: White woman with glasses laughing under large straw hat (JK 52 happy hat)
[personal profile] jesse_the_k

Very silly joke collection on Metafilter https://www.metafilter.com/145070/JokeFilter

Want to know all the shows coming to Hulu in a month? See their press releases here:

https://www.hulu.com/press/posts/hulu-what-s-coming-and-going-in-march

A beautiful comic that meditates on cultural artifacts and a hyphenated Japanese-American identity:

http://jemyoshioka.tumblr.com/post/157138759636/home-home-the-final-comic-in-my-series-about-my

(no subject)

Feb. 17th, 2017 12:01 pm
staranise: A star anise floating in a cup of mint tea (Default)
[personal profile] staranise
More of the same old Requires Hate bullshit (people are still giving her platforms), but the writeups this time are a bit witty: here from the lovely Zen Cho, and here from the lovely Rachel Manija Brown.
emceeaich: A cartoon icon of Lizzy Bennet from Pride and Prejudice. (lizzy)
[personal profile] emceeaich

I was at a conference for open source software maintainers yesterday and [personal profile] brainwane re-introduced me to [profile] courteneyervin, who is a software engineer at the New York Public Library.

She is working on an open source platform that allows NYPL patrons to check out eBooks. This is something that libraries are currently spending considerable sums on, exclusive of licenses for the books themselves.

There is also the squee factor in knowing that the NYPL has software engineers, and that for me and a lot of my peers and friends it'd be a dream job: "I write software that enables people to access the NYPL."

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tim: Tim with short hair, smiling, wearing a black jacket over a white T-shirt (Default)
Tim Chevalier

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