Tim's journal

Closely related is the "pretending not to understand" strategy -- for example, if the original incident had been a small-group conversation, someone could have said, "I don't understand -- how would just adding more women make the meetings more attractive than they already are?" The "joke" relies on an assumption of shared beliefs, so when someone asserts they don't share those beliefs, that destabilizes things, and forces the speaker to explain, when all of this stuff works based on *not* having to explain.

Sadly, this wouldn't have worked in a large group. But it's hella funny to imagine.