tim: Tim with short hair, smiling, wearing a black jacket over a white T-shirt (Default)
[personal profile] tim
(aka "no, I really don't want it to be 2003 again except in the sense of having meaningful discussions on LiveJournal.") These from [personal profile] safiiru, who happened to overlap (mostly) with stuff I've been thinking about anyway. Well-done :-D

  1. Of all the places you've lived, which has been the least soul-crushing in terms of general place-to-live factors? That is, excluding your job, who you knew in the area, etc.. (As though this is easy to untangle, I know.)

    I try to aspire to a higher standard than "not soul-crushing", you know :P That said, I found Cambridge, England to be very pleasant. It's well-nigh impossible for me to separate that experience from my job, the overall headspace I was in then, where I came from, where I went afterward, and so on, but the surroundings helped. I'm not sure I would move back there, even with a reason, since it was hard to find much of a queer scene there. (Maybe that's changed.)

  2. What is it like working at Mozilla on a day-to-day basis?

    Leaving out the recent political tensions there (because that's the other post I'm working on): I still have to do a bit of pinching myself over having a job where I can pretty much do my best, be supported in that, support others, and have a remarkably low amount of BS interfering. I have two hours a week of pre-scheduled meetings, never more than that. The fact that a large percentage of work-related communication takes place over IRC, which is near-universally if not universally used, lets me circumvent my residual social anxiety as it pertains to asking people for help. (Usually.)

    That said, it took me a while to adjust when I started out as an intern. I arrived in the midst of the Firefox 4 release. That was the last one before Mozilla moved to rapid releases. The release parties, and other nominally work-related events, struck me as somewhat excessive, especially for a company that was featuring the concept of "doing good" prominently in its branding. Since then, though, I've sensed a move in the direction of somewhat greater restraint. I'm getting paid past the point of "generous" (not that I'm complaining; student loans don't pay themselves) and there's still free jellybeans in the kitchen. But I no longer regularly get uncomfortable about the level of extravagance, and I'm happier that way. (Keep in mind, I wasn't in the industry during the first dot-com boom and I didn't grow up with money, so my extravagance meter may be calibrated differently from yours.)

    There's also a pretty big difference between the days when I spend 3 hours on the train to go to the Mountain View office to work (where most of my team usually is), and days when I go to the San Francisco office, which I can walk to (not that I need to when I have a Muni pass). If I'm in Mountain View, I go out to lunch with the other Rust folks et al., and overhear my colleagues talking about different corners of the project than the one I'm working on all day (I like to think I learn by osmosis, which is at least better than thinking I'll never break out of my functional-programming niche.) Days when I work from San Francisco, I can go a whole day without talking to anybody in the office except on IRC, and frequently I eat at my desk. If I could magically transplant my whole team up to San Francisco, I would, but they seem to have minds of their own and it would take a lot to get me to move further south than the Glen Park BART station.

    I'd really like to get more of a toe into the rest of the company beyond research, and there's nothing really stopping me except my own comfort zone. If nothing else, it might give me some more answers when my friends complain about Firefox memory leaks.

  3. Why doesn't every mid-sized or larger city in that's at least nominally full of liberals have quality vegetarian Chinese restaurants?

    Probably for the same reason that many cities don't have much quality Chinese restaurants at all, as far as I can tell (and this is 100% rank speculation): because there's so much low-quality Americanized Cantonese food out there that it's hard to market anything else, and in what may be some sort of Gresham's Law of Chinese food, bad Chinese food drives out good (at least in the US). If I really felt like pulling something out of my ass, I'd conjecture some relationship between concentration of recent immigrants and diversity of restaurant styles (like why the Peninsula/South Bay area has Indian food that isn't just Punjabi, or why Portland has decent Thai and Vietnamese restaurants but tons of mediocre Chinese restaurants), but I don't. I don't think it's to do with the vegetarian angle per se, just that Buddhist-vegetarian Chinese food, like Islamic Chinese food or Szechuan food, fails the "give the customers what they expect" test, except when there's a critical mass of people who are actually from the appropriate region.

    Don't hesitate to tell me I'm being a douchy whitesplainer here, anybody :P

  4. Do you have any fun, funny, or exasperating OkCupid stories to share? (If yes, please share them.)

    Besides the libertarians replying to my "libertarians need not apply" clause to ask me what I have against libertarians? Or the time when I went out on a date with someone only to realize that his primary partner was the guy I hooked up with last summer (let's be honest, one of the guys(let's be honest, one of the two guys))? (The second was in the "funny" category, just to be clear in case either party happens to be reading this ;-) Well, there was the guy I went out with who turned out to be a fundamentalist atheist (fundamentalist in the sense of believing that religion is the foundation of every oppression -- yeah, he was white and cis, how did you guess?) and, when I cited that as a reason for not wanting to see him again in an email later, tried to persuade me I was wrong. On the one hand, I made the mistake of giving a reason more specific than "just not at the same place in our lives" for not wanting to see him again. On the other hand, he made the mistake of not taking "no" for an answer. I guess it's about even.

  5. When I read your posts / the posts you retweet on Twitter, I feel like I'm seeing part of a big, long, ongoing conversation - or sometimes commentary on such a conversation - that's mostly with horrible people. How do you deal with that day after day? (The best I can guess is that you learned how at Wellesley...)

    I'm not really sure what I learned at Wellesley, but I know that back then, I felt more infuriated and othered than I ever wanted to admit to myself at the time, all the time, and never knew how to deal with that. Partly it was that I didn't fully understand at the time that I was being gender-policed; I wasn't aware that if I'd been at a non-single-sex college or university, especially an engineering school, I could have been twice as abrasive and been five times as popular for it. Provided, of course, that I'd been experiencing cis privilege (conditional or not) and male privilege at the time. That too.

    That's a tangent, though. I deal with it, I think, the same way that people who have dealt with far scarier things IRL have dealt with it: because I don't see any alternative. Because I knew, from the moment I started to be able to speak, that silence was death. 95 out of 100 times when someone says something oppressive -- online or off -- I do keep silent. (People who think I'm too sensitive have no idea how much energy I burn just on that.) The other thing that helps is when someone tells me (privately or publicly) that they're glad I said what I did. Speaking up lets people -- who may not be active voices in the conversation -- know that this space doesn't just belong to het cis able-bodied white men. And now that I'm frequently assumed to be a HCAWM, the added safety that that placement confers on me makes it morally necessary (in my opinion) for me to go further than I used to in challenging the assumption that societies must necessarily be organized as coercive hierarchies.

    Which leads nicely into the post I have to finish next! Thanks, [personal profile] safiiru!

If you didn't ask me for five questions before, you still can!

(no subject)

Date: 2012-04-16 03:48 am (UTC)
ext_17921: (Default)
From: [identity profile] lindseykuper.livejournal.com
I'd take five questions, if you feel like asking them!

(no subject)

Date: 2012-04-22 09:32 pm (UTC)
ext_17921: (Default)
From: [identity profile] lindseykuper.livejournal.com
Thanks! Working on answers. I really want to respond at length to a couple of these, so it may be a little while.

(no subject)

Date: 2012-04-16 04:44 am (UTC)
miang: Lana Skye, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Ooh la belle, vous mentez. (lana skye - take to the sky(e))
From: [personal profile] miang
Sure, ask away. I've been getting requests to post more to DW; might go faster if I don't have to think up something novel to post. :)

I'd be up for hearing more of your thoughts about gender-policing at Swelles sometime. My recollection is one of enjoying the notoriety and support I got for being outspoken (and bitchy, as needed), but my recollections of that time in general are heavily biased, and no doubt that my sensitivity to gender issues on that campus was practically nil.
safiiru: Wakaba is doing science! (focused)
From: [personal profile] safiiru
I should probably be thankful that Madison even has two decent Szechuan places, I guess. (They're both pretty new.)

Besides the libertarians replying to my "libertarians need not apply" clause to ask me what I have against libertarians?

Yeah, I think that's pretty much the expected result of having that on your profile. I pretty much avoid any statements about who I don't want to message me, as I haven't thought of one where the people in question would actually read my whole profile, want to message me, and be deterred by instructions not to. (Plus my profile's long enough already.)

when I cited that as a reason for not wanting to see him again in an email later, tried to persuade me I was wrong

I know you probably mean that he tried to persuade you that this wasn't a good reason, or maybe that you must secretly have some other reason, but I like to pretend that he was instead attempting to argue that, no, actually this makes you want to see him again. (Also, I'm sorry.)

People who think I'm too sensitive have no idea how much energy I burn just on that.

Maybe this is a difference between us, because, while I have definitely burned energy keeping quiet - and I surely have to do this less than you, so maybe I haven't felt how this can pile up, but still - I burn out much, much more quickly when I speak up and am ignored, countered with wilful ignorance or worse, or whatever.

(I'm also vaguely curious how you run into so much awful shit on Twitter. I mean, the stuff relating to current Mozilla events I can understand, but in other cases, do you follow a lot of people, on Twitter or elsewhere, who report the goings-on of awful people to their followers? Do you follow the awful people themselves? Do you (*shudder*) actually search for things or click on trending topics? Because Twitter isn't like most sites where there are threads right under articles or whatever where you can see the awful people being all awful, and I know I'm always surprised to find out (usually from you or from a few other people I follow) what "the Twitterverse" is "having a conversation" about.)
etb: (Pittsburgh trolley infrastructure)
From: [personal profile] etb
(which happens occasionally! but not usually)

Everyone who uses ! or ? as a comma gets into heaven (except Nazis? perhaps even Nazis, to the extent that does not contradict laws against speech contrary to the democratic-republican order).

You could ask me five questions if you want, though at this point, I think about four people (including me) actually read my DW.
etb: (latin stun maths)
From: [personal profile] etb
Heh, I was going to make fun of you for being a prescriptivist, until I realized I'd read this the wrong way. Possibly. Brains.

I approve of using ? and ! like commas, and disapprove of anyone who would prescriptively proscribe this practice. (But of course, proscribing prescriptivism is just like being a prescriptivist.)

(no subject)

Date: 2012-04-16 10:56 am (UTC)
redbird: closeup of me drinking tea (Default)
From: [personal profile] redbird
The people who say "I couldn't deal with that" may be trying to praise, or magic away the idea that they would have to, but it is a denial or othering. I just wish it was easier to tell "how can you" that's the same sort of othering from the "how do you?" that is asking for hints or techniques that the asker could use in their own life. (I may not be prepared to educate on a given afternoon, but it's generally easier for me to be educating someone on dealing with a bad doctor, or where the accessible subway stations are, than on why those questions matter.)

[I think I have something to say here about people who do and don't give up, and visibility, but it's not coming clear right now.]

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tim: Tim with short hair, smiling, wearing a black jacket over a white T-shirt (Default)
Tim Chevalier

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